to find beauty

the graduation post

Graduating is weird.

You work so DARN hard writing papers, reading about theories and taking midterms and finals and then... it's done. No more. You did it. Way to go! Congrats!

After I turned in my last assignment, I felt relieved... finally time to breathe! But mostly I felt a loss. What do I do now?

Oh yeah, plan a wedding!!! (Insert feeling of 'overwhelmed'.)

When I was standing in line with the other liberal arts graduates, I felt, honestly, lonely. Sure I was proud of my accomplishment, and grateful to all those who have helped me along the way. I loved that Dave was rooting for me in the crowd (and getting sunburned, poor guy), and I knew in my heart friends and family were cheering me on from afar.  But I was alone in a sea of caps and gowns and I didn't know anyone. A side effect of finishing via the extended campus - online classes, yay! Where your classmates could live in Norway, and most of your learning is done in the middle of the night between work and life. It's hard to find a familiar face.

Most of the grads around me were about 25 and looked like the morning was the earliest they've woken up for the past four years. They spoke loudly (yes, we can all hear you) about how they have no job prospects. I couldn't help but judge: you spend four years doing the minimum, what do you expect? Bad job market or not, the conclusion seems to be if you can't get a job, go to grad school. I hope they figure out what they want to do before they invest more of their parent's money on education.

Me? More school? No thank you, not now! I felt blessed that I got to graduate employed, engaged, and happy. Perhaps everyone should take a five year hiatus in the middle of their senior year? I did learn a lot in the past two years of finishing up... a lot about sociology, of course, and how to balance a lot of things at the same time. With the exception of Statistics and an evil Computer Science class, I got all A's my last two years... a vast difference with how I left OSU Spring 2003. One of the most important lessons I learned: don't be afraid to ask for help.

I look forward to making and working towards new goals. New projects. New adventures. And fun things like reading books, writing with some consistency, visiting with friends and cooking classes. I look forward to getting married and learning how to live with a man (and all the fun things that come with being married... *giggle*) 

I won't be bored.

Oh, and to answer the frequently asked question: I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Liberal Studies with a Sociology minor. Basically, I studied what I wanted, to do what I wanted: work in ministry and help people. 

my mom is a techie (and i never knew)

One of my assignments for school was to interview three people in different generations about their own use of the Internet. I chose my parents to represent the middle generation.

It was hilarious. I had no idea my mom used the Internet so much! I read them what I wrote and we laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Really.

You can read my results at: corinnefisher.wordpress.com.

So, this leads me to ask you: how much do you know about YOUR parent's use of the Internet? Are they tech savvy or do they run (run quickly) away fom anything technical? Its an interesting conversation to have. Really. You might be surprised. I was.

A Review of You've Got Mail... yes, this was homework.

There was no need for me to rent this movie. There was no need for me to even re-watch this movie.

This movie and its characters and messages are embedded in me as much as any movie repeatedly watched and enjoyed over the ages.

What drew me to this tech-inspired romance between Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Was it the love story or the message you can meet your own Tom Hanks via an online chat room? Breaking the social rules and norms of the time (when saying you met someone online brought up judgement and misunderstanding) You've Got Mail spoke into the reality that our coming age was bringing new ways of meeting others. Gone perhaps the ways of my grandparents, writing letters while Grandpa served in World War II? Or maybe gone the days of Mail Order Brides? Perhaps not. Perhaps we've just  evolutionized our methods with the times. (Just as we've always done. We move from the theory of a Thinking Machine to the reality of me sitting right now with my laptop typing this post.  Just as we move forward in our technological advancements, we see examples of new ways people find friendship and companionship and even love.

But the question wasn't whether or not it happened: the movie says asmuch as that. The storyline may have altered a bit. Boy meets girl, but not really because they are hiding behind the illuminating screens of laptops and AOL. They meet their online personas. Identities created (but not out of lies, but to protect their own self for hurt) to chat with other over 30s New Yorkers, or perhaps a chance to escape the unhappiness and dissatisfaction of their current relationships. Parker Posie's character's insensivities and love of sleep aids, and "The Nut's" love of the typewriter and idyllic ways. The comparisons are not missed. The laptops and the typewriter. The little, personal Children's book shop and the big, discounted bookstore. The rise of things improved, faster, bigger, but not always better.

For one, we already love Meg Ryan and Tim Hank together in movies. This movie allowed to finally see Meg and Tom "date"-- after the just as crazy and stalkerish love story of Sleepless in Seattle where they met via a radio show and Meg's character's ability to hire a P.I. and use her job to gain footing. No love story, especially in the movies, appears completely realistic, but we fall for the idealism.

These characters were fortunate, because they broke the ice of developing on online friendship before their love/hate relationship in the real world. Online, rather than add a mask, they took off masks to reveal thoughts and feelings of who they really where. As Meg's character says, "all these nothings mean something." Sure, Tom found out the truth first, and his actions can be described as deceptive and manipulative. He knew Meg's true feelings, and he hoped to develop something real and good between them anyways, all the hope to find something who brings him joy, something his marrying father never could find. He was never a bad guy. As he says, "its business." His attaction for Meg is not just online, but in real life (well, real "movie" life) and I believe that went both ways. As Meg says in the end, with Somewhere over the Rainbow in the background, "I hope it was you."

Is this situation likely in real life? Well, I doubt very much every person in a chat room are Megs and Toms, but love can and does begin in the cyberworld today. We can share our stories of triumph and joys-- perhaps the wedding I went to last summer where the couple met on eharmony-- they played the eharmony music as they walked down the aisle after they were introduced. There are also the stories of evil and disappointment. The use of Craiglist personals to find hookers, or the lying of those married to find quick flings or porn addiction or well, there's a lot of bad things that can happen, and does happen. In my own experiences with online dating, I have yet to find my own "Mr. Darcy" in the end, but then my own story continues...

The "ease of use" (Wood/Smith 37) of the Internet has evolved and simplifed and now allows just about anyone with an intent and openess to search for love in the chatrooms and the online dating sites. You can type in "online dating advice" and pages and pages of stories and suggestions will abound for anyone willing and wanting to play it safe, be smart, and find Mr. Right. It has become a part of life. A natural part of life for singletons. The newest movie to depict this clash of technology and love, He's Just Not Into You even in the promotions, reminds us (as mentioned as well in You've Got Mail) the Internet has brought forth new ways for people to be rejected too.

Is it right though? Who is to say. But Shopgirl and NY152 certainly has opened the doors to others to stroll down this avenue. They revealed that one can find a friend online, and something more in real life. Everybody's love story is different. Thats the beauty of it.

also posted at corinnefisher.wordpress.com.

test 1-2-3 moans and whines and why i am crazy

My life is out-of-control. Well, maybe it just feels that way.

Here's how I know:

Test One: State of the Car

Someone once suggested if you look at the state of your car/bedroom/etc, you can determine your current state of sanity. If you were to look in my car now, its not a pretty sight. I had to pull the seats down to open the trunk last week to tow a new bookshelf for my work-office last week. Upon doing that, the Disaster Area other wise known as the "trunk" opened and spilled into the whole back part of my car. Goodwill donation bags ripped and opened, flooding everywhere old shirts and shoes. Diet Coke can ready to be recyled litter the floor and last semester's text books are somewhere back there... I replaced the a metal file cabinet with the new bookself, so the old file cabinet is now in my car. Annoyingly bouncing around back there as I turn and stop on the streets. The front seat is actually clear, because I drove a friend to the church the other day. Which, of course, was humilating because of the state of the backseat.

Why don't I just clean it up? Well, for starters its too dark by the time I get home. And I haven't been home before 6:30pm in two weeks, most nights its after 9pm. Secondly, its so exhausting just to think about... ugh.

Test Two: My College Grades

So, I haven't really gotten any grades yet but I FEEL so behind. I didn't read the syllabus in time for one of my classes and so I didn't (and still don't) have the text books I need. I am behind in reading, and while I think I am doing okay with the online discussion boards, I know I am not doing my Cori-best. And these classes are so fascinating. I don't want to miss out.

Test Three: My Grouchiness Level (or How I Am Treating Others)

I've had to apologize to co-workers more than once for being grouchy. The lesson "you must be flexible with a good attitude" is being drilled in my head daily-- no, hourly. I think I am treating my family okay. We were laughing together last night about something.. so thats a good sign.

Test Four: How Often I Blog

So, that's an easy one to answer. Just scroll down to the last dates posted. Yep.

Test Five: Basic Personal Maintenance

I showed everyday. Sometimes twice a day. I love showers. This week: I went almost three days without a shower. My hair was awful (hence a hat) and I felt terrible. I need to get a pedicure, because the cold weather makes my feet crack (which hurts) and I don't have time to lotion up. Don't even get me started on Lotion. And I need a haircut. And a visit to the dentist (which frghtens me because dentists usually equal big bills). My neck hurts and I've had two migraines in the last two weeks.

Test Six: Have I seen any of my friends lately?

No, because the are all SUPER busy too! They could write their own crazy lists of whines and moans of how nutty their own lives are as well.

Anyways. Thats all. I have limited time to get what I need done today, and part of me just wants to just nap.

:)

So, tomorrow is my niece's first birthday, so stay tuned for some very cute pictures of the new one-year old!!!

How are you doing?

abstinence to addiction confession

As pathetic it is to write this next sentence, it is true:

"Hi, my name is Cori and I am addicted to the Internet." This assignment proves it.

As "memberjoe" (fellow Internet Junkie – whom I do know from "real life" aka high school ten years ago) wrote when I twittered about the assignment: "what kind of homework is that? Is that like not drinking water or breathing for a day?"

I took the assignment seriously. (Thus, I had the most boring weekend ever.) Here are some of the lessons I learned:

Lesson #1: You must plan ahead.

As my classmates will no doubt comment upon, it is very difficult to give up 24 hours of Internet time when you are an online student. Yes, it's only one day, but when you work full-time and have limited time to get homework done…its difficult.

I completed all my errands the day before. Banks can't process my deposits and stores can't run my debit card without the Internet. I also made sure to pay my bills earlier in the week as they are all paid online, of course.

Lesson #2: You can't do your job without Internet.

This is sad because my job is working for a church. Jesus didn't have an email and He got a lot done, right? I met with my boss about this assignment, asking her for advice on HOW IN THE WORLD to complete my responsibilities and not get "in trouble." She offered her support, and said she'd be interested to see how it all worked out. (She's just as addicted as I am.)

There was NO WAY I could participate in this little web fast during office hours. I rely on emails and the online database to perform my job. This week was the BIG week for me. I created our catalogue of open small groups (lots of communication with our group leaders) and updated the online small group finder (a little hard without the online part.)

I had to do this 24-hour fast during non-work hours. Unfortunately for me, that cut into my personal time. Since my only non-work day this past week was Friday night and Saturday, it became the golden time slot.

Lesson#3: You aren't as popular as you thought, and that's okay.

I thought (arrogantly) I would have lots and lots of emails, Facebook updates, blog comments, the works, waiting for me. The reality: about a dozen spam emails, one twitter comment, and six work related emails. That's it.

Apparently, one needs to be gone a lot longer than 24 hours.

Lesson#4: There is life outside the Internet. (You knew this already. Really.)

While I have done many things online (shopping, dating, banking, work, school) the real good stuff happens when the laptop is shut. Dinner with the family. Conversations with friends. Reading a book while listening to the rain. Cuddling with the cat. Unfortunately, for many, the Internet has saturated our daily existence.

[This blog was also posted on special blog for my communication class: corinnefisher.wordpress.com]

My conclusion: you are delusional if you think you can live in the modern world without the Internet. Or you are a mountain man. (Even then…) Yes, we lived without it 12 or so years ago, but we are way too dependent on it now.

my homework is abstinence

I know you must be really jealous of this assignment:

1) Abstinence: Students must abstain from the internet...ALL internet interaction for one 24 hour period.  You cannot use email, check Blackboard, see the sports scores, research, or do anything else on the internet.  If you fall off the wagon, you have to start all over again.  WHAT HAPPENS?  You should blog about your period of abstinence.  How does it affect your ability to communicate?  How does it affect how you spend your time? What do you do to replace your time on the internet?  These and other questions should be discussed in your blog. Due noon Jan 13.

 

Yes, I started Winter term, and this is just one of the fun assignments I get to do for my "Communication, Culture, and the Cyberspace" online class. Just wait: some of the others are just as exciting (but not as impossible as this will be, methinks!)

 

So, pray for me. I had to schedule my "abstinence" to occur when it will affect my work-stuff the least and still give me ample "good" time to get my ONLINE homework done. So, from 8pm Friday night to 8pm Saturday night I am internet-free.

 

Dang-it.

 

Just remembered I am supposed to run check-in for a class tomorrow and it uses the Internet. That probably counts, eh? Maybe I can find someone else to do it? Eeeks. This is so hard!

 

Check out my new blog for this communication class only at: corinnefisher.wordpress.com.

what i am learning... in my sociology class

So, I am reading the last assigned chapter of "Essentials of Sociology" for my intro to sociology class. The chapter is called "Globalization in a Changing World" which includes a lot of great stuf like the influence of religion on social change and whether or not the postmodern era has arrived.

Words like "historicity" [which is actually quite interesting. Its Alain Touraine's explanation for why there are more movements in the modern world than in earlier times... the answer: now we in modern societies, us individuals and groups alike, "get" that social activism can be used to achieve social goals and reshape society. We didn't "get" it before.] and INGOs (not with B) [which are international non-governmental organzations, ie Red Cross, Doctors without Borders, not to be mistaken with IGOs which involve the government.)

See, I am learning so much. Ask me about transnational corporations! I dare you!

I am reading along, highlighting away with bright yellow goodness, and I begin reading this:

In December 1999 (According to Wikipedia, it was November 30, 1999. Hmm.), more than fifty thousand people from around the world took to the streets of Seattle to protest during the WTO's so-called Millennium Round of trade talks. (blah blah blah) The trade unionists, environmentalists, human rights activists, farmers, and representatives from hundered of NGOs [now, we know what these are, see above] were triumphant--not only had the demonstrations succeeded in disrupting the talks, but internal disputes among delegates had also risn to the surface. The Seattle protests were heralded as the biggest victory to date for campaigners for "global justice." (blah blah blah) In the months following the Seattle protests, similiar demonstrations were held in other cities around the world, such as London and Washington DC. These events were much smaller than those that took place in Seattle..." (Giddens, 471)

So, at the time I had no idea what the WTO was-- I may have even thought it was some sort of WWF spin off. (WWF was gaining a lot of popularity at the time, despite my total disinterest.) But I was living in Seattle at the time, attending my freshman year at Seattle Pacific University and I remember when the demonstrations took place.

Mayhem!

I wasn't down on the streets (I think I was cautioned to stay inside by school officials??) but several classmates did partake in the festivities and, later they shared with us their animated stories and wild photos. I also saw the tell-tale signs of something Big on the streets later. It was crazy. Of course, now (especially after reading my soc book, which is hardly slanted at all) I understand better what WTO (World Trade Organization) and what the big deal was... and still is about. The book goes on and on about WTO and the fight for free trade... its fascinating.

Did you know industrial countries own 97 percent of all patents worldwide (according to my text book), but the concept of INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS is alien in the developing world? So we weed through the jungles of developing countries and take their good plants and make our money-making medicine and they get squat because we've patented the medicines. Oh I could go on. I am learning. Am I the last to realize all this? Has my head been in a mole-hole?

Going back to school is fun.

what was i thinking? (plus photo op for natalie with obama!)

 

Democratic presidential candidate, Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., center, shares a laugh as he chats with volunteers [specifically Natalie Caminiti on his right talking on the phone!] at his campaign office in Brighton, Colo., Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

** Check out my friend Natalie and Obama! She is totally working on his campaign in Colorado, and he just stopped over. Y’know just to hang with his campaign peeps. I got a text message from her yesterday with the words, “I just met Barack Obama. He came and made calls from our office.” That’s it. Just another day in the office! (Cool people visit the chuch too. Hmm. Not presidential nominees, but we aren't a campaign office.) The AP press took lots of pictures and in several of them you can spy Natalie! Click here for more pictures. What was I thinking about all this? Answer: Natalie is so, so cool and I am praying for her as she works really hard with barely any showers time!  (Why I can’t be in politics: apparently, you’re working so hard and for long that you end up taking showers like once every five days. No way, Jose! Maybe every other day. Maybe. Even in Nicaragua, I was able to take a shower everyday and that's a developing country!)  Also, I can't stop looking at their teeth. Both have such white smiles.

** Went home at lunchtime to get socks (my feet were freezing, what was I thinking wearing heels with no socks when its 1) cold and 2) I still can barely walk with my hurt toe still!) and I decided it was the perfect time to get some “fighting” done on my “Gangster Wars.” [Facebook application.] However, all the people – all 19 pages of people who were online, were already heavily wounded. I think maybe there was a gangster bloodbath this afternoon. Sad. Really sad. I couldn’t score any experience points at all. Oh, and it’s sad they were all wounded. Hmmm.

** So, if you are following my adventures as a re-student (short for returning student, clever, eh?) than you know about my issues with the “thesis statement.” Well, apparently, I am STILL not getting it or something because my prof’s comments on the assignment I turned in last night were:

 “Nice detail here, Corinne. What is your thesis statement? Thanks, David.”

Hmmm. Seriously?! I did re-read what I sent and I do agree: there was no thesis statement. What was I thinking? I was able to respond with what I hope to be a decent thesis statement. *fingers crossed*

** I also realized last night while straightening my desk that I have more books “mid-read” or “need-to-read” than humanly possible to actually “completely read” in the nearby future. Again: what was I thinking? I need to say no to buying books, especially when all my reading time needs to be devoted to stuff for school. When I get home, I will count how many of them are stacked on my desk and bed-side bookshelf. Does anyone else have this problem? I know I can’t possibly be alone.

** Okay, so I just checked my 'stats' and there was ANOTHER "girl looking in the mirror" google term, as well as a link from my friend Alyssa's blog, specifically from someone reading in her sub-category, "snot." So, what I am thinking is that someone clicked on the "snot" link on her page, read all about Alyssa's sinus surgery and snotty stuff, and then thought, "I think I want to read Cori's blog." From snot to moi. Heheehehehehe! I think it's a hilarious.

That's my day so far. I also don't know why typepad is choosing to italicize all my words. Weird. What is IT thinking?

 

 

life. is. great. *sarcasm*

I woke up exhausted this morning.

Perhaps it was because I tossed and turned all night as Elwood, who was not the best cat ever, sang up a storm all night. Atleast with children you can duct tape their mouths shut, not possible with cats. [Note: I would never really duct tape a crying kid's mouth shut.]

Perhaps its because I spent the bulk of my weekend reading a book called "A Courtship After Marriage" which told me everything I didn't know I needed to know about marriages in Mexico comparative to their migrant counterparts with specific differences in the young women's marriages versus their mothers... And then, I wrote up the discussion responses (which I was really proud of!) and the prof writes back this morning saying that I missed the point of the assignment all together. Great  generalizations, but you missed the boat, kiddo. [Okay, those are not his words exactly...] I wasn't to agree that the marriages were different, which apparently is obvious, but whether or not they are better.. blah blah. I seriously want to cry a little. Is this what school is? Because I had forgotten the frustrations of trying to understand and please professors when all you want to do is learn things.

*sigh*

This week I have to write an essay for aforementioned professor about the same book. I am scared to death.

It doesn't help that this week, on top of the homework for my other class, I have a conference that will take me away Friday night and most of Saturday. Plus I have a meeting Sunday afternoon. I have two lifegroups to attend. And Mel and Chris will be back this and will want their house back... so I need to move out and clean things sparkly again.

I am feeling very whiny right now. Now, I must be off to the chiropractors because my back is hurting from my car accident last weekend when the unmarked police car u-turned in front of me...

Life. Is. Great.

happy, happy moment

Logged into my OSU Student Account today and was so happy to find this:

 

After five years, the holds have been removed! Wooo-hooo!