First, let me introduce him.
His name is Dave. He is 28 (technically I am about 5 months older than him, but I am doubtful that makes me a cougar... right?) He has brown spikey-ish hair, sports funky glasses, and is 5'11" - the exact height I determined my junior year of college to be the perfect height for me. (Long, very silly story.)
Currently, he is on staff at a local church as an assistant youth pastor. Yes, he is a pastor. He also does the communication and media stuff for the church. Think bulletins & newsletters, PowerPoints, websites and graphics. Think: very busy and a lot of Adobe Photoshop. Think: the guy who everyone depends on to get things done.
And it get's crazier. He recently joined the staff at a transitional home/shelter for homeless families. He is also finishing his business degree (so he can have a tent-making ministry - which I quickly learned is not an actual tent-making ministry), and if he has some spare minutes... He likes to see or talk to me.
*Blush*
He has a huge heart. It is evident in how he spends his time (serving and pouring into the lives of youth), and by the amazing people he has in his life (I've met some so far, and they are pretty wonderful.)
And he loves the Lord unabashedly. He also likes Mixed Martial Arts, but I haven't held that against him... yet.
That's a little bit about him... Let me get back to the story.
So, I am exchanging emails with this dude and it's the craziest experience ever. (How's that for fine writing!) But, seriously, it was pretty crazy. I was in the middle of my summer of house-sitting and it felt like every week or so I was writing from a different home. Probably because I was.
I responded to his ad (which he says he will locate and forward to me for my "records") on May 30th, um, at like 2:45am. Yes, it's true. I was perusing the CL ads at 2am. Remember, I liked his ad because he mentioned he was involved in ministry. I wrote back, saying a little bit about myself and that I also worked in ministry.
He wrote back about 12 hours later. I remember the moment actually. I was waiting at the light headed south on Eastman Parkway in Gresham. It must have been a long line, because I had time to check my gmail from my cell phone. He responded: "What kind of ministry? Do you have a pic? Do you have Facebook or Myspace?"
If you aren't familiar with online dating norms, asking for a "pic" is pretty typical, and with the rise of popularity for FB and Myspace, it's pretty common to share those as well... although before you share such a site, one must: 1. weed through all photos and delete any that are the slightlest bit embarassing/bad and 2. update and edit info/profiles to make sure one sounds witty, cool, etc.
My myspace has been pretty much deserted after the Eharmony Guy #2 (see previous post), and sharing FB can be a pretty personal thing, especially if you are me and you share your whole world on it. I frequenly update my status with random info through my twitter and there is a link to my blog... which contains even more intimate info about me.
I am not even close to the ranks of one of my favorite bloggers, Penelope Trunk, with sharing personal details (I particularly like it when she writes about the farmer) but I get it: sometimes when you write, to make the process complete, you need to be read by someone... even if it's only your best girl friends after you force them to click on your blog link.
But, honestly, when you are just beginning to chat up a guy... do you really want to run the risk of him finding this blog post, or the soap opera confession one or well any under "women's business"? Is sharing your Facebook like opening pandora's box? Hmm.
Either it will endear him to you forever, or he will run like a scared little boy. (And, really, there isn't anything bad to find either.)
Dave and I become Facebook friends. Yes, that makes our friendship official y'know.
Around this time, I realize Dave must know/ work with some folks at Eastside I know through some close friends. I ask him about, choosing to provide evidenciary support:
Pictured: Jamil, Rachel, Mel, Me, Ashlee and Tim. Chris is hiding in the back. The picture was taken on Chris's 28th birthday last October (his 28th birthday on the October 28th!) where we had a pumpkin carving party and watched old Simpson's Halloween episodes.
Now, by sending the picture, not only was I proving I knew his friends, but I was also letting it out that this is me. This is what I look like.
No lying. No pretending to be something you aren't. You share yourself as you are.
So, he writes back and confirms that Tim and Ashlee where definitely his peeps.
Now, emailing is fun. I remember my grandma telling me when I was a little girl about how her and my grandpa wrote letters to each other while he was in the war. I remember thinking it was the most romantic thing ever. (I still feel that way. And now I can peek through the letters!)
Letters are special. Not only to read them over and over again, pour your heart out in cursive and ink, but to have them, all bundled up to treasure forever.
Google Gmail has kept our emails pretty safe, so far. *wink*
But as wonderful as our emails had begun, and how easily things were flowing... I stalled after a week or two of correspondence.
Blame the busy season. (I was really busy.) But I sat with some long-time, good friends Korrin and Steve and revealed that I didn't know if I was going to continue writing... I had various reasons, most of them stemming from fear. Korrin told me I should keep writing him, that I should give him a chance because dating is about learning about who we are... this could be an excellent learning opportunity. To which Steve adamently agreed, saying something like, "Cori, how come you've given all those losers in the past a chance but when someone who obviously loves the Lord comes along you don't give him a chance?"
Yeah. So, I took that to heart. They were right. Of course, they were right.
I kept writing. Our mutual friends began plotting our first meeting/date. I discovered in more emails that Dave was going to Nicaragua this coming Fall/Winter to some of the same places in Nicaragua I went to March 2008. Crazy. Really crazy.
Soon, I got the email from him with three specific questions:
1. What's your opinion on tattoos and piercings?
2. What's a favorite Bible verse?
3. When can I call you?
:)
To be continued...
(Sorry, I need sleep.)
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