I just discovered something completely awesome.
I just discovered that if I put a cd in my new dvd player... IT PLAYS MUSIC! Really! So, the sound quality is a little lacking, but it works!
This isn't what I wanted to write about. Though it makes me very happy right now. Much happier than what I want to write about!
This past weekend was one of those weekends. One of those God-is-trying-to-teach-me-weekends and if I ignore it was one of the weekends, I would be missing out on something pretty amazing.
I found myself eating dog poop. Twice. Stinky, gross, make-me-gag dog poop.
Well, not really dog poop. (Go with me here.) Figuratively. About three years ago, I attended a workshop where the facililators distributed chocolate brownies. They looked delicious, They said we were welcome to eat them anytime, but that we should know they mixed a spoonful of dog poop in the brownies while making them. Just a little spoonful, so we should be fine. Not to worry. Don't they look and smell delicious?
Of course, who wants to eat dog poop brownies? Yuck. The lesson, ultimately, was when we let a little dog poop in our lives -- when we gossip just a little or tell a little white lie or say yes to something we should be saying no to. When we do those little things we know deep down they are wrong, bad, not good for us, but we-I- let them slide because its just a little dog poo. Won't hurt me. I'll be fine. Its a lie.
A little dog poop IS STILL DOG POOP,
Well, sometimes a little dog poop ends up being a Crap-ola Special. And the pooper-scooper is coming out.
My point: I watched two movies last week that if I could do a rewind, I would. Now, before I get too sanctimonious here (because I don't want to sound judgemental, nor do I want to be judged here! I just want to share what I am learning), I love movies. I really, really love movies. I love the stories, getting caught up in the drama and romance and suspense. And some movies I want to watch, and do watch, are rated R. I remember being asked by my co-workers back in my Burger King days in college, that if I watched R rated movies because I was Christian. I thought they were crazy for asking me that. I felt embarassed, actually, and spouted some arrogant answer about watching whatever I wanted to watch because I was a good judge of what was good.
Ha.
I subscribe to Netflix (which is awesome) and love that I can watch movies instantly to my laptop. I decided to watch the movie Untraceable last Wednesday night. I knew it was filmed in Portland and had something to do with the Internet. (Which was exciting to me because I have been learning about culture and the cyberspace in one of my classes this term.) I knew it was rated R. I didn't even think twice about the rating.
I didn't know it would scare me so much. Not just oooh-scary, but deep-down-to-the-core terriffied. I relate the feelings of fear to when I watched the Gus Van Sant movie, Elephant. Terrifying. Sad. I wanted to cry. There were disgusting murder scenes. And the movie wanted to show how easily people are targets on the Internet.
Ugh. Too close to home.
THEN, I got asked to a movie by a friend whom I had been looking forward to finally meeting... yes, after that terrifying movie about people being murdered after meeting people on the Internet, oh-so-wise-me still decided to meet someone from the Internet to go to a movie. His pick: Watchmen.
He turned out to be fine. The movie?
I wanted to cry. I was so embarassed. Imagine being in a movie theater sitting next to someone you just met (who again, was very nice and I look forward to getting to know outside of a movie!) and on the very large movie screen before us, multiple sex scenes played. Fairly graphic ones too. Okay, I don't have to imagine too details here. I sat frozen in my seat, too embarassed and uncomfortable to eat the popcorn he had purchased. I was too mortified to move, and too nervous to just be there in general to say anything (part of it was not the movie's fault but my own nerves when I am at a movie with a boy.)
Actually, this reminds of me of high school when I was invited to watch movies at my crush's house and HIS PARENTS brought home Boogie Nights for us ALL to watch. Yeah. Imagine watching a movie about a young man's step into the world of pornography with your crush and his parents! I believe I excused myself from the movie back then before it got too, too bad.
Anyways. Present time. Do I watch the sex scenes? Do I close my eyes? Look at the ceiling? Look at my friend? Grab his leg? What do I do? Its not like I have never seen this stuff before (I mean, hello, I watch tv too), but something in that moment... something about this experience convicted me that this was not something good for me to see.
I don't remember what I did. Probably all of the above (except the grabbing of the leg bit.) I was tempted to get up and leave or offer to baby-sit the TODDLER who was sitting behind us!! Yes, who brings an impressionable toddler to a movie like that? It was heart-breaking hearing the little girl say, "mommy, this is scary." Yeah, Mom. It is scary. Not only was there a lot of sex, but the "super heroes" were sort of like bad guys too and there was a lof of killing and murdering. (Is murdering a movie genre?) Anyways... I was saddened that the sweet little kid's mind was being filled with such dark images. Ugh. She will have nightmares, images in her mind she won't know how to deal with.
OH! And Mr. Manhatton walked around naked. Again, I might sound like a prude here, but I do not want to see a genatalia over and over again in public, next to my friend. If I ever see that much of a penis I want it to be from changing a baby's diaper or well, other activities that will wait until later in life when I have a ring round my finger. Hehe. Its bad enough they show nipples on tv and in movies now. Are we going to be seeing man parts all the time now too? (whine) I am all for art and beauty and the body's form.... but seriously?!
Oh goodness.
My friend asked me what I thought of the movie when we walked out. I said it was a lot to take in. I didn't want to hurt his feelings either. There were some great elements of the movie too. I liked the historical references for example.
After these two movies, I realized that rather than a bite of poop brownies, I just willingly ate the whole pan full. Partly because I didn't say no, and partly because I was too worried about what someone else thought of me. And honestly, I just didn't pay attention to what I was going to watch and put into my mind.
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