to find beauty

Thoughts on Facebook... for school.

Facebook has changed my life. Whether its for the better... well, that is still up for debate.

Even though it is blocked at work (which is probably a good thing!) I am able to update my "facebook status" via a cool, very nerdy-chic tool called Twitter. (There are many other ways to update statuses, this is my favorite.) I can also update my status via my phone. Pretty much, I could give people play-by-plays of my life all the time. If I were to have a great idea,  something un/usual happened, or I was just bored, I could communicate these thoughts to my facebook community. I don't know who will read it (well, most likely one of my "facebook friends) or who will comment... or who even cares... I just like doing it. I like having an outlet to share myself.

My facebook status is just one way I reveal myself (create an identity) to others. My guess is that if you followed my "Tweets" or facebook statuses, afterawhile, you'd have an interesting impression of "me." Its part of my "language... as primary vehicle for establishing one's own (or another's) online persona." (60)

My last couple statuses read:

home from a great day of work and service with the lifegroup leaders at church.
one of the best parts of my job! about 4 hours ago from web  

 switching between water and a Diet Coke. I was told to drink a lot of water.
This prob isn't what they meant. Oh well. about 12 hours ago from web  

is working on a take home test for her "Giving and Volunteerism" class. Very interesting!
Its essay-writing time now! 8:04 PM Jan 25th from web      

took some kiddos to see the narnia play tonight and had no idea so many abundant
life kids were in it! how exciting! 11:29 PM Jan 24th from web  

is that snow? hail? mini ice balls? weird. 2:45 PM Jan 24th from txt  

made it to FREE GEEK to donate old computer junk!
awesome! 12:45 PM Jan 24th from txt  

killing about several forests with my printing jobs. Hmm. *sweep aside guilt*
ALSO, PRAYING FOR LIFEGROUPS! 3:24 PM Jan 23rd from web  

having a very nerdy moment. am setting up a webcam + skype + all things that make me even cooler. (laughing) 10:14 PM Jan 22nd from web

Okay, so I am not so arrogant, to think anyone would be so overly fascinated by these statuses.  But y'know. This is me. This is my life. Well, my life since 10:14pm on January 22nd.

Facebook is planning my 10-year high school reunion.

Well, maybe its just providing the method for us to contact one another and find out who is planning what. Facebook, however, has changed the "mystery and drama" of the classic reunion. Now, if I am curious about an old classmate, I can search for her facebook/myspace profile. Chances are, it will be there. Likewise, my old classmates can find me. The reputation I had in high school, is now compared to the self-presentation of my facebook page. Am I the same Cori they remember from high school? I am presenting myself to a group of people, and opening myself up for judgement.

It make connecting with people... easy.

I work/attend a large church. Many of my facebook friends attend my church. I love the ability to get to know the people I go to church with a little better. A former lifegroup leader named Amy ended up being a facebook friend. (I help coordinate lifegroups (small groups) at my church.) When Amy stepped down from leading her group, I was still her friend, and got to see pictures of her new baby... on facebook. For the last couple weeks, I gotten to see Amy, her husband, and her little, baby girl IN REAL LIFE. We laugh that its "so weird" see each other in real life.  (Her baby is so sweet!)

I don't know how many times, I have needed to connect with someone for some reason or another, and I can't reach them on their phone or email... but a quick facebook message and I am responded to right away. Because I know many of the people on my facebook friend list in real life... I don't have to worry about gender-swapping and misrepresntation of who they are. It would be hard for them to lie. Likewise, I have to be careful about how I portray myself. Because the eyes on me are many, posting a pictures of me that could be scandalous or writing things that could be negative against another or too "open" is a "no."

Are these just ways I am controlling my identity, the perception others view me? Maybe. I am an open person in real life, so online I am going to be open too. Do I distort the truth of who I am? I don't know. Maybe? Probably a little but not with an evil intention. I don't reveal the secrets of my heart online. Well, not too often. 

Facebook has also made the quality of friendships... sorely lacking.

Not too long ago, if I wanted to talk to a friend, I would give them a call or we would hang out and chat. Now, a series of "computer mediated communications" replace a good long talk with a friend. I miss these times with friends. Facebook, and such social media services, can take what was once a friendship based on hugs and laughter and tears together and make it quick. Convenient. Public. I realized this past weekend that I haven't SEEN any of my best gal pals (well the ones I don't work with) in weeks! But yet, we have chatted and kept up with each other Facebook and quick text messages.

What is the world coming to? No wonder people feel lonely.

Facebook has changed the dynamics of how people relate... or it can, if you let it (take over.) While the "playing field" (60) may be leveled out for others to engage without the threat of "judgement" with the flexibility of commenting when desired or able... this mode of social engagement must be balanced with real-life, real-people interactions. For me personally, I can't live on Facebook alone.

also posted at corinne.fisher@wordpress.com

A Review of You've Got Mail... yes, this was homework.

There was no need for me to rent this movie. There was no need for me to even re-watch this movie.

This movie and its characters and messages are embedded in me as much as any movie repeatedly watched and enjoyed over the ages.

What drew me to this tech-inspired romance between Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Was it the love story or the message you can meet your own Tom Hanks via an online chat room? Breaking the social rules and norms of the time (when saying you met someone online brought up judgement and misunderstanding) You've Got Mail spoke into the reality that our coming age was bringing new ways of meeting others. Gone perhaps the ways of my grandparents, writing letters while Grandpa served in World War II? Or maybe gone the days of Mail Order Brides? Perhaps not. Perhaps we've just  evolutionized our methods with the times. (Just as we've always done. We move from the theory of a Thinking Machine to the reality of me sitting right now with my laptop typing this post.  Just as we move forward in our technological advancements, we see examples of new ways people find friendship and companionship and even love.

But the question wasn't whether or not it happened: the movie says asmuch as that. The storyline may have altered a bit. Boy meets girl, but not really because they are hiding behind the illuminating screens of laptops and AOL. They meet their online personas. Identities created (but not out of lies, but to protect their own self for hurt) to chat with other over 30s New Yorkers, or perhaps a chance to escape the unhappiness and dissatisfaction of their current relationships. Parker Posie's character's insensivities and love of sleep aids, and "The Nut's" love of the typewriter and idyllic ways. The comparisons are not missed. The laptops and the typewriter. The little, personal Children's book shop and the big, discounted bookstore. The rise of things improved, faster, bigger, but not always better.

For one, we already love Meg Ryan and Tim Hank together in movies. This movie allowed to finally see Meg and Tom "date"-- after the just as crazy and stalkerish love story of Sleepless in Seattle where they met via a radio show and Meg's character's ability to hire a P.I. and use her job to gain footing. No love story, especially in the movies, appears completely realistic, but we fall for the idealism.

These characters were fortunate, because they broke the ice of developing on online friendship before their love/hate relationship in the real world. Online, rather than add a mask, they took off masks to reveal thoughts and feelings of who they really where. As Meg's character says, "all these nothings mean something." Sure, Tom found out the truth first, and his actions can be described as deceptive and manipulative. He knew Meg's true feelings, and he hoped to develop something real and good between them anyways, all the hope to find something who brings him joy, something his marrying father never could find. He was never a bad guy. As he says, "its business." His attaction for Meg is not just online, but in real life (well, real "movie" life) and I believe that went both ways. As Meg says in the end, with Somewhere over the Rainbow in the background, "I hope it was you."

Is this situation likely in real life? Well, I doubt very much every person in a chat room are Megs and Toms, but love can and does begin in the cyberworld today. We can share our stories of triumph and joys-- perhaps the wedding I went to last summer where the couple met on eharmony-- they played the eharmony music as they walked down the aisle after they were introduced. There are also the stories of evil and disappointment. The use of Craiglist personals to find hookers, or the lying of those married to find quick flings or porn addiction or well, there's a lot of bad things that can happen, and does happen. In my own experiences with online dating, I have yet to find my own "Mr. Darcy" in the end, but then my own story continues...

The "ease of use" (Wood/Smith 37) of the Internet has evolved and simplifed and now allows just about anyone with an intent and openess to search for love in the chatrooms and the online dating sites. You can type in "online dating advice" and pages and pages of stories and suggestions will abound for anyone willing and wanting to play it safe, be smart, and find Mr. Right. It has become a part of life. A natural part of life for singletons. The newest movie to depict this clash of technology and love, He's Just Not Into You even in the promotions, reminds us (as mentioned as well in You've Got Mail) the Internet has brought forth new ways for people to be rejected too.

Is it right though? Who is to say. But Shopgirl and NY152 certainly has opened the doors to others to stroll down this avenue. They revealed that one can find a friend online, and something more in real life. Everybody's love story is different. Thats the beauty of it.

also posted at corinnefisher.wordpress.com.

test 1-2-3 moans and whines and why i am crazy

My life is out-of-control. Well, maybe it just feels that way.

Here's how I know:

Test One: State of the Car

Someone once suggested if you look at the state of your car/bedroom/etc, you can determine your current state of sanity. If you were to look in my car now, its not a pretty sight. I had to pull the seats down to open the trunk last week to tow a new bookshelf for my work-office last week. Upon doing that, the Disaster Area other wise known as the "trunk" opened and spilled into the whole back part of my car. Goodwill donation bags ripped and opened, flooding everywhere old shirts and shoes. Diet Coke can ready to be recyled litter the floor and last semester's text books are somewhere back there... I replaced the a metal file cabinet with the new bookself, so the old file cabinet is now in my car. Annoyingly bouncing around back there as I turn and stop on the streets. The front seat is actually clear, because I drove a friend to the church the other day. Which, of course, was humilating because of the state of the backseat.

Why don't I just clean it up? Well, for starters its too dark by the time I get home. And I haven't been home before 6:30pm in two weeks, most nights its after 9pm. Secondly, its so exhausting just to think about... ugh.

Test Two: My College Grades

So, I haven't really gotten any grades yet but I FEEL so behind. I didn't read the syllabus in time for one of my classes and so I didn't (and still don't) have the text books I need. I am behind in reading, and while I think I am doing okay with the online discussion boards, I know I am not doing my Cori-best. And these classes are so fascinating. I don't want to miss out.

Test Three: My Grouchiness Level (or How I Am Treating Others)

I've had to apologize to co-workers more than once for being grouchy. The lesson "you must be flexible with a good attitude" is being drilled in my head daily-- no, hourly. I think I am treating my family okay. We were laughing together last night about something.. so thats a good sign.

Test Four: How Often I Blog

So, that's an easy one to answer. Just scroll down to the last dates posted. Yep.

Test Five: Basic Personal Maintenance

I showed everyday. Sometimes twice a day. I love showers. This week: I went almost three days without a shower. My hair was awful (hence a hat) and I felt terrible. I need to get a pedicure, because the cold weather makes my feet crack (which hurts) and I don't have time to lotion up. Don't even get me started on Lotion. And I need a haircut. And a visit to the dentist (which frghtens me because dentists usually equal big bills). My neck hurts and I've had two migraines in the last two weeks.

Test Six: Have I seen any of my friends lately?

No, because the are all SUPER busy too! They could write their own crazy lists of whines and moans of how nutty their own lives are as well.

Anyways. Thats all. I have limited time to get what I need done today, and part of me just wants to just nap.

:)

So, tomorrow is my niece's first birthday, so stay tuned for some very cute pictures of the new one-year old!!!

How are you doing?

i need to answer this question

Someone approaches you and asks you for a dollar. Assuming you have a dollar, what do you do and why?

What if you only had a twenty?

What if it wasn't just someone, but your best friend? Your brother/sister? A co-worker?

abstinence to addiction confession

As pathetic it is to write this next sentence, it is true:

"Hi, my name is Cori and I am addicted to the Internet." This assignment proves it.

As "memberjoe" (fellow Internet Junkie – whom I do know from "real life" aka high school ten years ago) wrote when I twittered about the assignment: "what kind of homework is that? Is that like not drinking water or breathing for a day?"

I took the assignment seriously. (Thus, I had the most boring weekend ever.) Here are some of the lessons I learned:

Lesson #1: You must plan ahead.

As my classmates will no doubt comment upon, it is very difficult to give up 24 hours of Internet time when you are an online student. Yes, it's only one day, but when you work full-time and have limited time to get homework done…its difficult.

I completed all my errands the day before. Banks can't process my deposits and stores can't run my debit card without the Internet. I also made sure to pay my bills earlier in the week as they are all paid online, of course.

Lesson #2: You can't do your job without Internet.

This is sad because my job is working for a church. Jesus didn't have an email and He got a lot done, right? I met with my boss about this assignment, asking her for advice on HOW IN THE WORLD to complete my responsibilities and not get "in trouble." She offered her support, and said she'd be interested to see how it all worked out. (She's just as addicted as I am.)

There was NO WAY I could participate in this little web fast during office hours. I rely on emails and the online database to perform my job. This week was the BIG week for me. I created our catalogue of open small groups (lots of communication with our group leaders) and updated the online small group finder (a little hard without the online part.)

I had to do this 24-hour fast during non-work hours. Unfortunately for me, that cut into my personal time. Since my only non-work day this past week was Friday night and Saturday, it became the golden time slot.

Lesson#3: You aren't as popular as you thought, and that's okay.

I thought (arrogantly) I would have lots and lots of emails, Facebook updates, blog comments, the works, waiting for me. The reality: about a dozen spam emails, one twitter comment, and six work related emails. That's it.

Apparently, one needs to be gone a lot longer than 24 hours.

Lesson#4: There is life outside the Internet. (You knew this already. Really.)

While I have done many things online (shopping, dating, banking, work, school) the real good stuff happens when the laptop is shut. Dinner with the family. Conversations with friends. Reading a book while listening to the rain. Cuddling with the cat. Unfortunately, for many, the Internet has saturated our daily existence.

[This blog was also posted on special blog for my communication class: corinnefisher.wordpress.com]

My conclusion: you are delusional if you think you can live in the modern world without the Internet. Or you are a mountain man. (Even then…) Yes, we lived without it 12 or so years ago, but we are way too dependent on it now.

my homework is abstinence

I know you must be really jealous of this assignment:

1) Abstinence: Students must abstain from the internet...ALL internet interaction for one 24 hour period.  You cannot use email, check Blackboard, see the sports scores, research, or do anything else on the internet.  If you fall off the wagon, you have to start all over again.  WHAT HAPPENS?  You should blog about your period of abstinence.  How does it affect your ability to communicate?  How does it affect how you spend your time? What do you do to replace your time on the internet?  These and other questions should be discussed in your blog. Due noon Jan 13.

 

Yes, I started Winter term, and this is just one of the fun assignments I get to do for my "Communication, Culture, and the Cyberspace" online class. Just wait: some of the others are just as exciting (but not as impossible as this will be, methinks!)

 

So, pray for me. I had to schedule my "abstinence" to occur when it will affect my work-stuff the least and still give me ample "good" time to get my ONLINE homework done. So, from 8pm Friday night to 8pm Saturday night I am internet-free.

 

Dang-it.

 

Just remembered I am supposed to run check-in for a class tomorrow and it uses the Internet. That probably counts, eh? Maybe I can find someone else to do it? Eeeks. This is so hard!

 

Check out my new blog for this communication class only at: corinnefisher.wordpress.com.