I know, I am a 'miooaqueen', (if you don't know what this… ask me later…when there are no guys around, trust me. Hush-hush.) but I think maybe I have become a drama queen, particularly on Mondays, specifically in the last month or two. I don't like this at all.
I feel a little… out of control.
I googled "drama queen" (fyi: googling is one of my fav internet pastimes, outside of writing this blog and facebook) and I learned that:
"Conflicts and disappointments are natural side effects of the human experience, but for a certain personality type known as a "drama queen," life's little setbacks can trigger explosive emotional outbursts and other irrational behaviors." [www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-drama-queen.htm]
Emotional outburst and irrational behaviors? Who? Me? Let's take a quiz and find out.
1. You are cat-sitting for one of the pastors at your church, and it is mentioned that they would really appreciate you grooming their cat. You do it (because you are a nice person and want to help people), but you have the skills of Edward Scissorhands, and the poor kitty looks like it got stuck in a blender. (Kinda.) You:
a.) Comfort the cat, but don't freak out because she's fine and there's nothing to worry about.
b) Visit the local Petstore and describe the cat's condition to a vet tech to make sure the cat is "fine." You call the pastor (first time you have called this particular pastor while-housesitting.) and leave a voicemail telling them that you butchered their cat. (This voicemail is saved and replayed repeatedly by the pastor to the amusement of many.) You then write at least two or one? blogs about the CATastrophe, and drive your co-workers crazy with your anxious whines. (The cat is fine.)
c) Nothing. What can you do?
2. You try out eharmony.com, and end up chatting up a nice guy who eventually asks you out. During this process, you:
a) Are excited, but are trusting God that if its meant to be, it will work out.
b) You invoke a posse of prayer warriors, who follow every moment of the meeting on twitter.com. You also, get yourself in such a tizzy, that during your date you talk his ears off and end up telling him about your insane and anal outlook calendar tracking, including the fact he was scheduled on the calendar. Once the "date" is over, you anxiously await to hear from him, but are so exhausted from the leading up excitement you go out with friends and get happily buzzed on one (okay maybe two) pints of German beer. (You do hear from him eventually, but its not (unsurprisingly) good news.)
c) Nothing. What can you do but go with the flow?
3. You try your hand at online dating again, only this time you decide to post a Craigslist ad. (Yes. You did.) You get several responses, most worthy only of your junk mail, but one dude sticks out and you agree to meet up with him. To prepare for this date, you:
a) do the normal first-date activities, made sure someone knew where you were going, and wait to have a good time.
b) do the normal first-date activities plus you purchased a brand-new outfit, had your eyebrows waxed and got a pedicure. You set aside an entire morning to primp for the date. However, before the date you made sure not one, but several people knew where you were going to be and what time you were meeting him. You also analyzed whether or not meeting him was an "okay" thing to do (since it was Craiglist and you aren't an experienced dater, really.) which requires help from your counselor, several groups of friends, and a co-worker now dubbed your "dating mentor." You also google the dude, find his myspace page, and track him on classmates.com. (This is a big clue to what 'miooaqueen' is...) You consider purchasing pepper spray but settle with the pocket knife under the front seat.
c) Nothing. Got dressed as normal and prepare for a new experience.
4. Typically, when something exciting happens in your life (this could be anything from getting A on a paper, meeting a cool new guy or getting positive feedback at work), you:
a) Want to share it with your closest friends.
b) You write about it on a public blog, twitter it, facebook it, call all you friends and tell them the whole, entire story (with loads of details), talk about it with any of your co-workers who will listen, mention it to your: counselor, chiropractor, doctor, pedicurist, cashier at New Seasons/Safeway, and consider adding it the book you want to write someday.
c) Nothing. Good things happen and that's great.
5. You get in a car accident. An unmarked police car turns in front of you with no warning at all and you hit his back bumper. You did not see his lights until the last minute. You find out that you are being held liable for the accident. Your response:
a) Suck it up and realize your insurance rates just spiked.
b) First, you yell and vent your frustrations to the insurance claim adjuster, including lines like "this is ridiculous! How can cops get away with being so completely negligent?" and "I understand that lights mean yield to police cars, but what if there is not enough warning? You are in a crappy (not what I said) situation because there's no where you can yield to!" You then bawl your head off, crying out, "I do everything right, how come this happens?" You call your insurance agent and consider his suggestion to call a lawyer. You twitter your angst (to which TWO pastors either twitter back or call you to make sure you are okay and not dying), find the "Guy You Like" and tell him how upset you are and what a dumb situation it is and love that he gets mad too (but then worry your scared him away with your dramatic insanities.) You then rant and rave for the rest of the day to: you boss and co-workers, your neighbor, your bible study group, a best girlfriend, and consider leaving the sob story on the voicemail of your other best girlfriend even if she is in Arkansas on a family vacation. You are frustrated that you had to pay $250 for a deductible and that multiple visits to the chiropractor (although she is very nice) have taken over your lunch period. You also begin to compare your situation to Joseph from the Bible, and begin applying principles the Pastor has been using in his teachings and realize that even if you are being blamed for something you did not do!!! (really!!!) and your integrity is being damaged (as a good driver, etc) that you are "being watched in the pit" and you must trust and have faith in God through it all.
c) Nothing. Its settled. Nothing to do.
6. You write a response paper for a new professor for your first class in five years, and your professor responds that you missed the point of the assignment and that your thesis is not clear. You:
a) Chalk it up to good critique and work on improving for the next paper.
b) Write a passionate, confused email to the professor claiming his directions where unclear. You then re-write the assignment for him. You realize as you re-write the assignment that the professor was in fact correct, but you are feeling prideful so you include a quote from the book that contradicts the professor's assignment completely. You also consider the idea that returning to college was a terrible, bad idea and way too hard. You have mini-counseling sessions with several people at work about the situation and google "thesis statement." You eventually, admit you are wrong to the professor, and hope to God that he has pity on you when grading your next assignment.
c. Nothing. What can you do?
In case you didn't notice, but my answers (even if I wished they were the a's) were the "b's" and I think that makes me a bit of drama queen. It's funny, because I am only realizing now (especially as I write this all up) what a freaker-outer I really am! I should be banned from twitter, and no decent guy should ever want to date me because I might call the Channel 8 news if things go completely wrong... or right.
Note: call and schedule appointment with counselor tomorrow. May want to print this up for his records.
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