to find beauty

It's the eve of youth camp and I feel like I an the brink of insanity. So many detail. So much communication. So many lists. So much to remember.

As I get things done. Checked off. Said and remembered. I know I will forget things too. Lord, please be in the details. Please remind me to stay calm. To breath. To remember why we do this.

For you to love on these youth.

Amen,

Why My Husband Is Awesome And Candy Crush is Evil

 

We had just turned out the lights, and were getting cozy in bed and I disturbed it all by grabbing my phone.

"No, no more games," my husband pleaded.

"Just one more, I gotta pass it!" I pleaded back. It's a curse, I tell you. The Candy Crush curse called Level 147. I've played it countless times since the end of July. More time has been spent manipulating those little bombs and hard jellies, than any good Christian woman would like to confess... or should confess, really.

A lot. Too many. Oh, its a sickness.

A couple weeks ago, I decided to google "Candy Crush Level 147 cheats." Anything to help! I had made the committment in mid-August to spend NOT another cent on any game. I deleted all my cards from my Google Wallet (to remove temptation), and its been me and the game. Solo. 

I needed to cheat. I needed help!

But people, I looked up and read all the tips and posts. I even watched some of the videos where people finished the level, proving two things: 1. it is possible 2. people are braggers.

Generally, all the  advice is to focus on the center column (check), watch out for bombs (check), use the special striped candies and the sprinkle donut (or whatever it is called) when available (check and check.) I learned about hitting the go-back button on my phone if the screen isn't to my liking, so the candies would reset. Other advice has you work from the bottom, or the sides, or just all over with your eyes-crossed while wearing a sombrero. Either way, its 50 moves of torture.

The tips weren't much help. I am still in Level 147 hell. And now I am writing about it. In public. Stop the madness!

So, last night when playing "just one more game," I asked my husband if he would pray for me. I think he thought for my sanity. 

But no, I was dead-serious. "Honey, will you pray that God will help me pass this level."

My husband is a great guy, and he loves me and Jesus a whole bunch. But even I wasn't sure if he would. Maybe he would tell me to delete the game? Ack! Not conquer it? Never!

But he did pray for me. And boy did he. He prayed so well, I just knew I would pass the game. It's not like I expected much. It's a game, but God is sovereign over ALL! That certainly includes time-sucker distractions like Candy Crush!

Alas, I am still trying. I know one day, I will proudly and loudly cheer and write on my Facebook "I DID IT! I PASSED LEVEL 147!" and people will shout hip-hip-horay and cry and congratulate. A banner will be flown above me: "You did it! You are awesome!"

I am never, ever overdramatic. But I do feel a little better now, and my lives have re-filled.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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Candy Crush

On the Move... Meow

Next month will mark three years of living in the Troutdale apartment. It seems like yesterday we moved in, but it also feels like a million years.

Three years ago, I wrote about moving to the apartment and the craziness our life felt back then: newly married and excited to build a home. I vividly remember Moving Day... packing the U-Haul. My muscles sore, and Dave cranky at me for shoving boxes  in the truck disorganized. I remember driving the U-Haul to our apartment and thinking that my whole home was in that truck. I remember un-loading the truck with some amazing friends of Dave (heroes!) and taking them to a Chinese buffet afterward to say thanks. Oh, and it rained the whole time. The whole flippin' time. We were soaked.

Next month we are moving again. The actual date, we don't really know yet except it will be in October and we will need help. And it better not rain.

We will say good-bye to Troutdale, my favorite grocery store and gas station, to our favorite best-ever Chinese restaurant (where, I swear, the lady has a crush on Dave) and to Kings Meadows apartments. We will say a huge hello to a new home on the outskirts of Portland. On a dead-end street technically in Lents (but close enough to Happy Valley to feel a little snobby), we will be renting a home. It's not much bigger than our apartment (and Dave and I will share a bathroom - oh the horrors!) but its a house with a yard. And we couldn't be more excited. Dave will have a man-cave. I've been obsessed with pinterest and ideas to decorate the guest room, the kitchen, the master, oh, about everything.

The Mt. Scott House is pretty close to being smack dab in the middle of the two churches Dave and I serve with... which is great. Already, I am meeting people who will be my new neighbors. People I attend church with! People I like!

Oh yeah, and we are getting another black-and-white cat named Pepe. Pray that Elwood will like him and not want to eat him or bat him around like a new toy.

So there it is. The Unglert's are on the move. And we are getting another cat. Whew!

recalibration

Confession: I often have to tell myself to shut up.

More often than not lately, I find myself in these terrible moments where I am with people I respect (boss. friend. husband. etc.) and I can't for the LIFE of me get my message across (at least thats how it feels.)  I find myself frustrated, passionate, and defeated. I can see the frustration in their faces. Telling me to stop, listen, think. But all I can see and feel is a foggy mess of why aren't you listening? Why don't you trust me? Why don't you care for my reasons or ideas? Why don't you defend me?  I tell myself to stop. Refocus. Breathe. Recalibrate. 

What is the goal?

What is important?

Remind myself I still offer something valuable. 

Tell myself submission isn't a terrible thing even if it feels incredibly suffocating.

And I wonder - what am I doing? Why am I getting so enflamed about little things? I pray. God, give me strength. Give me a quiet, gentle spirit. Make me more like You, and less like this person that drives others crazy.

I read blogs from amazing women who seem to have so much wisdom and grace. I watch women at my church who seem to always be friendly and smiling and loving to others. Can I get some of that? I feel like Snow on Once Upon A Time right now, who just discovered black in her heart and she is afraid it will take over all her innate kindness. 

Lord, be with me and my mouth.

so there media week!

Over an early supper last night, I looked deep into my husband's brown eyes and asked him if he was ready to begin week 3 of our 'mutiny to excess' fast. Week three is the most dreaded of all weeks for us. Fast from media - tv, internet and all it's glories - does not sound like an appealing week for either of us to participate -- maybe its a sign we need to do it more? We know its possible - afterall, everything is possible with Jesus Christ, but with all the life stuff we are currently juggling taking away my hour or two of mindless entertainment is simply going to make me grumpy (or as Dave would say: grumpier). 

So, after some discussion, we are postponing Media week to another week (maybe during a week we plan to be camping or something, ha!), and will be continuing the fast on Clothing and Possessions. The reality being... we aren't done yet! I still have bags of clothes and shoes to give away in the hall way. We trip on them everyday! We haven't even looked at any other source of excess - movies, books, kitchen stuff - to weed through and give away. 

To be honest, we simply need to give ourselves some grace and more time to do it right. We've been running non-stop it seems, and I think it was on purpose that in the book 7, Jen Hatmaker takes a whole month for each different "fast," and gives herself and her family a couple weeks inbetween to prepare themselves for the weeks ahead. And even one of her friends on the Council has a hard time with media week and does her own limited version. This isn't about following a set of rules, I believe. 

So, we shall continue to unload our earthly possessions, and limit any excessive shopping. And Media week can just wait. We will "watch" our consumption of media this week -- limiting needless usage, etc, because its doable and probably better for us anyways. So there Media week!

 

mutiny against excess and me

I was inspired to mutiny after reading this post.

The author, D.L. Mayfield, was inspired (in part) after reading the book 7 : An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. (I am half-way through and it's a life-changer book already!)

Not to boast, but I happen to know D.L. (like, in real life!) and have read her blogs for years. She writes with passion for the poor, the voiceless, the refugee, and the Kingdown of God. I confess... not once, not twice but many times I have finished reading something she has written and have felt very guilty. (Or is it shame, I can't remember. Maybe its laziness and apathy? Its all terrible.) 

So, rather than just push those feelings aside this time, I am trying to be a little more pro-active. In my head, I am thinking I could give up Facebook or something (not easy for me.) Afterall, its a very popular choice these days with Lent and the fact so many are addicted to it!

But that didn't seem like enough. And giving up something that I actually use daily in very practical ways seemed, well, impractical. I needed something more. I needed to do something that would challenge me in a very real way, teaching me how to love others better. [note: for one of the weeks, I do have to give up all things media and its going to be a very long week, I anticipate.]

Then I ran into dear D.L. at church, and I knew I couldn't just keep pushing what God was clearly trying to tell me away any longer. (More of Him, less stuff.) So, I pretty much invited myself over for coffee. It seemed like the best idea. If I was going to be starting the Mutiny Against Excess (as outlined in the blog), we couldn't go out to coffee. 

I've known D.L. for years. I know her family. I went to her wedding. But in this day and age (for me at least), actually visiting someone's home rarely happens. Technology always interferes (phones, emails, Facebooks, busyness etc.) Add the hype in my head that this is D.L. Mayfield, the awesome writer and activist... well, let's just say, I felt like I was entering the home of a celebrity. I felt like a total nerd.

Fortunately, nerdiness aside, it was a good visit. I left happy and excited to get started. I left longing to be better friend to her and others.

It was Day One of the Mutiny, and I was feeling awesome. I arrogantly believed that this week would be the easiest. We have a stocked pantry (thanks to my previous extreme couponing prowess). I was allowing myself some limited grocery shopping. Piece of cake.

Ha!

Let me tell you, it is Day Six and I am trying not to feel like a failure.

First of all, my $2 for each day of the week budget was blown. Fast. 

Second, I couldn't resist doing some couponing, which led to some dumb purchases. It also led to some much needed Nyquil for my sick husband.

Third... well, I guess there is no third. It was easy to NOT go out (even after being given a gift card for a favorite restaurant), and I liked cooking at home.... and made some delicious dinners too. 

And I have felt oddly hungry most of the time. I've used this hunger as a reminder to myself to pray for those who don't have a stocked pantry to get food from... who don't have the means and income to eat healthy... or eat at all.

I thought a lot about Nicaragua this week. When I visited in 2008, we walked through the dump where a small city of people lived. In tin shacks. Food was scarce. Clean water was precious. There was a small school inside the dump, which local churches ran. We spent a lot of time there with the kids. We were invited to a special party where the kids were given peanut butter sandwhiches and juice. I remember vividly, watching many of the kids save half their sandwhich for dinner later. Because there was no food later.

It was heartbreaking. 

Saturday night, I made beans and rice for dinner. I prayed for Nicaragua. The Villa Esperanza. The kids we met, and are probably grown now.  And I thanked God for His provision for me and my family.

We have so much.

---

Here is the description for Week 1 from the D.L. Mayfield blog:

Week one: Food
For this week, focus on how much you normally spend on eating: going out to restaurants, getting coffee, and even grocery shopping. Much of the world is living on $2 a day, but we spend much more than that on a single latte. Commit to limiting your food choices and your spending, and at the end of the week you should have cleared our some space in your pantry and freezer, and also be left with a nice sum of money (which we would then encourage you to donate to people in need).

Practical fast:
No eating out/drinking coffee out
Eat from your pantry/freezer
Limit grocery shopping as much as possible. If this means several dinners of beans and rice, then so be it. Enjoy the feeling of solidarity with the majority world!

Prayer focus:
Pray for those with limited access to food and clean drinking water.

 

a stereotypical back-to-the-blogosphere post

Hello? Anyone there?

It's me, Cori. I used to write here. I used to share funny stories about being single and wishing desperately for a husband. I wrote about my cat a lot, too. But then *magic* happened. I met the love of my life and on a chilly January evening (during sunset at the Oregon coast), he pulled a ring out of his pocked and asked me to be his wife. 

We got married. We lived at a homeless shelter. We moved. Our changes jobs changed. And changed. And changed. (Gotta love ministry!)

Marriage is awesome when you are married to your best friend. I learned (a lot about) the world of fake wrestling, discovered extreme couponing, and have logged countless hours playing Facebook games like Sims Social. We are a dual (note: not duel) church family, in that we serve and work for two different churches (of two different denominations, no less!) Our lives continue to spin and whirl before us, leaving precious blank spots in our calendar for friends and family... and well, each other. 

And maybe that's about to change? Maybe it starts with getting back into the saddle of writing to the few and far away. Maybe these next 40 days or so will help that out... Yesterday marked the first day of Lent, and even though I do not attend a church(es?)  that observes Lent in a super-serious way (at least from what I can tell), I've always loved the idea of intentionally choosing to give something up in order to invite Jesus into our heart to challenge, encourage, redeem or convict us... 

However, I am a little "bad" at keeping up with the whole 40 days deal... Blame it on a weak follow-through, even if it is for the Lord of Lords. So, when I read this post, I got pretty excited because even though its for 40 days (or so), it is broken down week-to-week. And each week is different: yee-haw!

 I decided to mutiny.

To put my hands in the air and wave the white flag. I give up. I am burned out and tired. I am drowning in the excesses of trying to do it all and have it all. Of missing friends and family. Of spending more time staring at screens than the sexy brown eyes of my beloved. Tired of tripping on laundry on the floor and piles of papers in the office.... when all I want is to feel freeeeeeeeeee!

I made a couple decisions. One, I am leading a small discipleship group for women. I grow best when I have others around me (according to Monvee, I grow best in the context of relationships.)  I also believe having people over on a weekly basis will force me to have a tidier home. (We'll see about that!) (The irony of adding something to my plate in order to feel less busy, is not lost on me, by the way.)

In my preparation for our first studyto be 'unpacked' tonight and reading over the chapter on Assurance, this verse stuck out at me:

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteosness. 
1 John 1:8-9

Good stuff. I shall conclude this "back-to-the-blogosphere" post with a confession because I wholeheartedly believe that He is faithful, just, and has promised to make all things right:

I need something to change. I want something to change. I profess that something WILL change.

Stay tuned for more rambling and what I may title: 'Mutiny of Excess and Me'.

(Also... I need my wonderfully gifted, handsome husband to help make my blog site look pretty again... hint, hint... so please excuse the boring page.)

emma's soup du jour

Kids can be funny little creatures. I've heard enough stories from friends about their kiddos refusing to eat anything but toast and mac 'n cheese to kids who are scared to poop to know its pretty normal. 

That doesn't make dealing with the stubborn nature of a three year old any easier. Fortunately for me, I am just the aunt... and my time with the (best-ever!) rugrats are limited to hours every other weekend or so... however, I am also the aunt who last Saturday night attempted to feed my neice dinner. Quite the feat!

My sister (the mom) had made fervent pleas that despite Emma's hunger strike (for anything not a cookie, it seemed) to only feed her little girl "healthy things."

The plan for dinner was rigatoni noodles, spaghetti sauce and meat balls. I thought if I engaged Emma with the cooking, maybe she would want to eat it. So, I had her lay out the meatballs on the cooking sheet.

But she got bored. 

So, I gave her a bowl with some tropical fruit cut up inside. She already had a cup of cran-apple juice and there was a small cup of diet coke nearby. I also gave her some cooked green beans. It was like a buffet of nibbles... or the ingredients for soup du jour.

I gave her the little egg beater. She went to work. Mixing all the ingredients with passion not unlike that seen on an episode of Chopped.

I thought to myself... why not, let's make it fun!

I gave her a spoonful of grated cheddar cheese. And a cup of diced peaches. I think she stole a couple meatballs too. (She saw Dave sneaking them off the pan after they cooked...)

She went to work. She was so, so excited about her "Emma soup" and kept saying she was making her own dinner.

Here's the final product:

Looks tasty, doesn't it? 

Dinner time. I gave Emma her noodles and meatballs (sans the red sauce, by request), and I told her to eat up! She took a big bite. I thought to myself: oh yeah, I am awesome. She's going to eat for me!

But then she stopped eating. Pushed her dish aside. Hunger strike?

Not quite.

She wanted her soup.

Yes, this is real. She sipped not one, not two, but three spoonfuls of the sweet 'n odd concoction.

And she said it was sooo yummy!

Oh boy.

The recipe:

Emma's Soup 

1 8oz cup papaya and pineapple in extra light syrup (tropical medley) 
1 4oz cup diced peaches in light syrup
1/4 cup cooked green beans, cut
1/2 cup cran-apple juice
1/4 cup Diet Coke
1/2 tablespoon grated mild cheddar cheese
2 small Italian-style meatballs 

 Mix together in bowl. Serves one wonderful little girl!