Scene: At my desk at home listening to David Crowder [Remedy] sporting my Nicaragua Sweatshirt and a messy ponytail. Its Friday night.
I promised myself this afternoon while sitting in the Kia Waiting Room (where great thoughts always happen) and reading Kay Warren's Dangerous Surrender (amazing book so far) that tonight would be a Date with God night. Wasn't sure what He had planned, but with my acceptance into my Divine Date... I felt good.
I arrived home and walked the dog. Actually, I prayer-walked the dog. While she was managing to find all the mud puddles, I spent time praying for the all the recent requests that have hit my heart.
And now, I sit. I type. I wonder. I listen to David Crowder sing God is here. Okay God, you are here. What do you want to say to me?
Listen to me. I am yours. Don't worry about the details. Don't be consumed by the possibilities you have created in your head. Look at me. Follow me. Surrender to me and I will show you so much more than you ever imagined for yourself.
But Lord. I hear myself ask. (I am frustrated at myself for even asking.)
But Lord. What if this is how it is always going to be? What if this is my life? You know me, you know the desires of my heart. How do I get past this feeling of chasing troubles and chasing hopes, and when do I allow myself to trust, to be content, to let go of the control I think I need to have?
Now. Trust me. I will not let you down. I will never let go. Trust me. I have great plans for you.