Just read an interesting article from relevent magazine called Fighting for Authenticity. Check it out. Tell me what you think...
Sometimes... well, most of the time... its just CRAZY how God meets your needs in unexpected ways... I had been talking about my need for encouragement in the area of "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" while LOVING the fact my dear friends are getting married and my honored role in their big days... and then I read this article... Bridesmaid Survival Guide and it was perfect! I love how being a maid of honor or bridesmaid is not just the dress, etc buts it the moral support I get to provide for my friend when she needs it the most... I am excited to look at my role as maids for my friends Ang and Mel in the way (and remember that I am always committed to the weddings I have been in in the past: Sarah, Kate, Becca)... it is an honor to be asked (and someday I will extend the same honor *prayer up to God*) to those same special women in my life!
Sometimes I envy Eve.
I know its ridiculous, but imagine: boom! here you are on Earth, surrounded by the Garden of Eden. Your man is before you, in awe of your beauty. Its simple. You were created for each other. No worries about dating dos and don'ts. No worries about whether he likes short hair or long hair or if you stomach is too flabby. He only has eyes for you.
Not only do you have hunky Adam, but God is right there... no question about His presence in your life. He has all things taken care of for His first woman. All is wonderful.
So, why do I still wonder if Eve ever worried if she had what it took to be a woman.
I wonder if I know what it takes to be a woman.
This path of questioning a woman's supposed innateness of knowing all things womanly, has been a interesting journey for me. Where is the insider knowledge supposed to come from? One suggestion I have been given, is that we learn how to be a woman from our mother.
Now, I love my mother. She is dear and wonderful. And I know I learned a lot from her. For example, I know how to apply mascara and how I should never go without it as my eyes "need to be framed" to stand out. I learned that beautiful eyebrows involve pain ie hours with tweezers or quick rips from the local salon's beautician. I learned to wear brown eyeshadows and was given my first training bra (to my horror my dad HAD to find out!). I can recall specific events ofwomen in my life teaching me things... my Aunt who taught us how to iron shirts or to always use the lint roller. My best friend in elementary school's mom who told me to shave my legs PAST my knee.
But sometimes, I realize, even now at twenty-six, how much I don't know. For example: lotion. Lotion has actually been a major issue for me. I am continually being told in various ways and environments, that I am a lotion flunky.
Incident One: I am a local salon getting my first ever "real" pedicure. The Pedicurist scolds me for not using lotion on my feet and legs. A co-worker who was also getting a pedicure informed me that in order for me to have soft feet, I was SUPPOSED to put lotion on my feet every night and then wear socks to bed. Ironically, I have about a dozen bottles of lotion, designed especially for feet in a drawer in the bathroom. Do I use them regularly? Maybe the first week or so after the purchase. I also can't stand wearing socks to bed. So, its a problem all around.
Incident Two: I am standing with a group of girls, and my left elbow rubs against one of the girls' arms. "Ouch!" she says, in horror. "Cori, don't you put lotion on your elbows? Your elbow is so rough!" Ugh, I think. Another think I am not doing right. Maybe I like having sand paper easily accessible?
Incident Three: I will never have naturally tan legs (or skin, in general). A personal goal of mine for the past couple years was to shed my anxiety about my white legs, and wear shorts, skirts, etc in public without freaking out about it. A friend of mine recently suggested that I should purchase this new "glowing" self-tanning lotion and it worked amazing on her and her own borderline-albino legs. (exageration) I know it was in love that she said this, but my heart sank a little. No mention that I already had purchased the miracle lotion, and it had never made it part of my beauty routine. In my mind, in my heart... it was yet another thing I should have known as a woman to do to be beautiful.
I was recently a local bookstore, and I went on a mission for book, ideally titled "what you were supposed to be know about personal beautification maintenance for those who seem to be missing the mark". I didn't find it. I found several titled (or similiarly) "the beauty book" but as I flipped through the pages, they all lacked the "simiplicity" I desired.
What am I looking for? I don't know. Maybe I just need a lady's maid? She'd brush my hair, lotion my elbows and remind me to take my vitamins. Oh wow, that sounds ridiculously lazy. As a friend of mine challenged (the same one I injured with my elbow), if I don't make things like lotion important, if I don't intentionally add them to my daily list of to-dos (mental of course), they'll never become important. I have to choose to make them important and no be so lazy about it.
i didn't go to LA this morning... and now at work i feel tired and ugh. Hopefully that will go away... as i get productive and in the swing of things. tonight is a Home Night and i am looking forward to laundry and One Tree Hill.
Yesterday after work, Kori and i went on a spontaneous hiking adventure at Latoureal Falls (the Gorge). It was beauitful, fun, not as huffy-puffy as i thought it would be (yeah!) and then i took Kori to Typhoon for an early birthday dinner... delicious! Although next time i am sticking with my mild pad thai.
today was amazing... i was happy, getting things done... and then the STUPID PHOTOSHOP PROGRAM freezed on me not once, but twice... causing me to start over twice on a very ridicuous, detailed project! I am still so annoyed! i hope my new computer that i will get soon won't act this OBNXIOUS! Seriously, I spent three times as long on a project because it wasn't responding. I am anxious for it to be 5 o'clock and I can go home, dress for a fun, spontaneous hiking trip with Kori. Only an hour and a half longer!
I made it to LA again this morning! Yes! I didn't do as hard of a work out as I was last week, but I wanted to be careful with my dumb knee. Tessa and I sat in the sauna for awhile, and talked about life, boys, and well, boys some more. It was great. I love getting to connect with a friend in the morning. On the way home, I listened to Eve6 and ROCKED OUT! My hair was everywhere, head bopping, body pumping. I feel alive!
yesterday I twisted my knee... felt it pop out of the socket... knocked the wind out of me! Pain hurts! my knee is swollen and hurts when I put all my weight on it. i am less annoyed with the injury as i am that it will affect my work out schedule. i don't want to aggravate it, so this week I will try more water aerobics and stretching. Should be ok.
I love my new short haircut! It feels so light and good! Yeah!
yes, i returned to the gym this morning... WHOOO HOOOO!... although i didn't leave my house til 6:30am... (plan was to leave 30 min. earlier than that) giving me time to: elliptical 30 min., arms curls, overhead press, and suana (of course) (and thentine to to get ready). It was a good workout though, and I am glad I kept my commitment. So, the phrase 'inspire to perspire' was on the gym radio, and i liked it... i like the idea of inspiration as a form of motivation for getting healthy... Leading to the question...what inspires ME to work out?